Zilu asked, “What does a person have to be like to be considered a true scholar-official?”
The Master replied, “He must be earnest and critical, but also affable—earnest and critical with his friends, and affable with his brothers.”Confucius, & Slingerland, E. (2003). Analects: With selections from traditional commentaries. Hackett Publishing.
Zilu asked, How should one conduct himself in order to be called a man of station?
The Master said, Earnest, exacting, but also harmonious—that would qualify you to be called a man of station. With friends, earnest, exacting. With elder and younger brothers, harmonious.Confucius, & Watson, B. (2007). The Analects of Confucius. Columbia University Press.